thinkness, you might think, is a pretty serious blog. Then how do you explain this:
The Oprah show described with graphic detail a sexual term known as "tossing salad." It was so offensive that my child's head literally exploded. Please ban free speech so this never happens again.
Anyone who has a strange, obsessive affinity for the movie Soapdish--as everyone should--will no doubt recall the scene where Jeffrey Anderson (Kevin Kline) tries to read the teleprompter on live teevee without his glasses on:
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid...
[pause]
Jeffrey Anderson: Bran... fluid. Bran flavor.
Burton White: What the hell?
David Barnes: [offstage] Brain fever!
Edmund Edwards: [offstage, loudly] Say it!
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Brain fever!
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria...
[they both goggle at the word]
Jeffrey Anderson: Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the...
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Literally explode?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Exactly, within the next three houses.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Hours?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Restaurant?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Restaurant, yes.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Her brain will actually explode?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing.
Thanks to Melissa for the Soapdish dialogue.
Btw, I'm creating a whole category for figurative uses of the word "literal," and that category's going to be called Lethal Literal thanks to this first entry.
You can ping this entry by using http://www.mindtangle.net/movabletype/mt-tb.cgi/788 .
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to speak nothing of the "please ban free speech"
well yes, there's that. free speech is a rampaging danger.
i read this on smoking gun and literally shit a brick.
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